Friday, March 28, 2014

☼ Can you pen an amusing little tale that includes as many of these lines as possible?




I am Sunsh


As you know...This is not homework...Merely wholesome fun on YA.

1. Am I The Only Sane Person Here?
2. 20 Miles From Nowhere
3. And Now It's Raining.....PERFECT!
4. Ca_CHING!!!!!!! JACKPOT!!!!
5. 9-1-1.....May I Put You On Hold?
6. Not To Be Johnny Raincloud, buuuuuuuuuut......
7. I Am Dating A Very Disturbed Person.
8. Uh huh. Uh huh......What Did You Say?
9. My 1987 Volvo Has A Higher IQ Than You.
10. So NOOOOOOOOW The Truth Is Revealed!!
11. Ahhhh. The Plot Thickens.
12. Please Senator. Just Answer The Question. Did You Or Did You Not ____________ ?



Answer
Ok, it's getting a little long, so here is what I have so far. I will add the rest when it's done!


I peered through the filthy windshield at the rapidly narrowing dirt road and asked, âDoes anyone else think this is a bad idea, or am I the only sane person here?â
A chorus of negation followed by several volleys of crumpled napkins and food wrappers was the answer from the three other people in the over-loaded Honda. A cherry red, brand new Honda Fit that had, before this god-forsaken journey into the heart of darkness, been shiny and sweet smelling. Now itâs cute interior looked like a landfill, and itâs bright exterior was coated with so many layers of crud and filth it looked more gray than red. To top it all off, it was about 110 degrees outside, and I had opted to save money and forgo the luxury of air-conditioning.
I waved my hand dismissively at them, pulling my sticky tank top away from my body, and concentrated on avoiding some of the larger, more canyon-like potholes in the roadâ¦nay⦠trail I was navigating. 20 miles from nowhere, and getting further by the second.
âAre you sure you read the map right?â I asked my boyfriend, James, for the hundredth time, in a way I was sure was a very annoying. Honestly, I didnât really care at this point. He simply brushed back a lock of thick chestnut hair (no man should have hair as great as this- really) and looked at me in that irritatingly calm manner of his. Sometimes his refusal to be baited bordered on pathological. I mean, didnât everyone lose it at one time or another?? Not James. Cool as a cucumber. On ice.
Suddenly a wet splotch appeared on the smeared windshield. Then another, and another.
âAnd now itâs rainingâ¦PERFECT!â I gestured at the now-torrential downpour. I flicked on the wipers and watched as the muck began to smear across the windshield.
âHey, hey!â Susie called from the back, her brown curls bouncing as she sat up suddenly in her seat, whipping her iPod from her ears. âI think I see a sign!â
I craned my neck forward, trying to find a clean spot to look through, not even bothering with wiper fluid, it having long-since run dry after a passing particularly nasty cloud of insects. âI donât see anything,â I said. Seriously wondering what kind of eyesight the girl had to see anything, let alone a sign.
âThere!â she said, smacking her boyfriend, Sean on one bulky bicep. Seanâs frame barely fit on his side of the car, he was so large. Next to the diminutive Susie, he looked positively gargantuan. Whenever I saw his shoulders fill a doorway, and how his neck strained at his t-shirts, I thought steeerrrroids. Susie vehemently denied this, of course, and maintained he was just genetically blessed and spent a lot of time at the gym.
The car jolted over a pothole I missed as I tried to see through mud and rain find this fabled sign in the distance.
âCa-Ching!!! JACKPOT!â Sean practically bellowed, bouncing in his seat slightly, causing me to fear for the carâs already strained suspension. âI see the sign too!â He threw one beefy forearm forward between the seats and pointed.
There it was, glory be. Five hours, three truck stops, two questionable truck stop meals, and bathrooms so filthy I wanted to bathe in bleach afterward, it appeared we were nearly at our destination.
It was Seanâs idea to go camping. Should have known better right there. James loved the idea, having been an avid camper as a child. I was more of a city girl, and roughing it was something I felt should be avoided at all costs. Since Susie, who had stuck by me through many vacation disasters, was also gung-ho about the idea, I felt a bit outnumbered and caved. Sean described this picturesque spot by a lake where we could pitch a tent (tent!?!) and enjoy the wilderness (gah, wilderness now!?). It wasnât until later that I discovered this beautiful locale was situated many, many hours away from any civilization. But James was so excited by this point, I couldnât say no. No. Such a small, easy word. No. I could say it now. No no no no no. I sighed. Too late.
The Honda splashed through water-filled, what can only be now described as ponds in the road, and I heard a disturbing grinding noise as it bottomed out. âShit,â I mumbled, âthatâs all we need is to get stuck out here.â
More prophetic words were never spoken.
The car lurched into a particularly vast pothole and at first appeared to be able to slog through, but the viscosity of the mud was too much for it. The wheels began to spin, and my heart began to pound. Yes, it was true, we were gonna die out here in godâs frigginâ country.
Ok, perhaps that was a little dramatic. I was tired, ok? I looked over at James and he looked resigned. I glanced back at Sean, thankful suddenly to have He-Man Master of the Universe in my car.
âUh, Sean, buddy?â I asked tentatively. âAny chance you could go out there and give us a push?â
âNo problem,â He said confidently, and I felt the car rock as he got out. The sound of the rain filled the car until the door slammed. James glanced at me and murmured, âIâd better get out there too.â What was his deal?
âThis is fun, eh Sarah?â Susie chirped from the back seat preventing any further contemplation of Jamesâs attitude. I swear if I didnât love the girl, and wasnât willing to eat nails for her, I might have slapped her.
âFun? Seriously?â I pushed my limp blonde hair out of my eyes and turned to look at her. She was grinning mischievously, her eyes dancing. She looked like a fairy imp.
âYou are so fun to bug! I know you are about to go Mt. St. Helens up there.â Susie laughed at my still-incredulous expression. I turned forward again, making a mental note to get Sean a t-shirt that said, âI Am Dating a Very Disturbed Personâ. A smile cracked at the corner of my mouth. I tried to suppress it. This only made it worse and soon a laugh erupted out of me, and Susie cackled in the back seat. Suddenly we were both in hysterics, tears running down our faces. I tried to calm down, but made the mistake of looking at her and began afresh. After some time, I wiped my eyes and spotted Jamesâs bedraggled face looming in the driverâs side window. I rolled down the window, chuckles subsiding.
âWell, Iâm glad to see you ladies are having fun in here. Being DRY and all,â he said slowly. âBut, we have problem here. We canât get the care out without some sort of friction. I think we should try to make it to the lake and see if we can find some help.â Water dripped of his nose and dotted his eyelashes. Damn the man was good looking.
âOk, uh, hmmm.â I said, trying to compose myself and hearing Susie still giggling in the back seat.
âWell,â Susie said taking a deep breath, âitâs better than you going ballistic, right?â I suppose I was known for my meltdowns, I could admit it. Unlike James, I tended to hold things in only to a point, and at that point I was known to unleash holy hell on anyone who might be in my way.
Susie managed to dig out bag from the back that contained some outerwear, a couple hoodies and a windbreaker. She passed me the windbreaker, the only article that had a passing chance at being waterproof. Thatâs why I loved the girl.
We scrambled out of the car and landed calf-deep in swirling muddy water the colour of a nice iced-mocha. I had expected the temperature to cool with the rain, but no. The water splashed warmly down over us like the worldâs larges shower. Lovely. I sloshed out of the puddle and went overt to James and handed him a soggy hoodie. He took it but didnât bother to put it on. Sean opted to stay in his sleeveless t-shirt as well. The wet material clung to every ripple in his abs and chest. Unnatural, it was.
James and Sean quickly discussed the merits of leaving everything, and then finally opted to bring the tent and tarps and some bags with us. We loaded Sean like a pack mule, and the rest of us grabbed some lighter stuff and off we went. I looked back at my little car, wallowing like a tiny red and gray streaked elephant in the muck.
âHey!â I said after we had walked in silence for a while. âI totally forgot about my cell phone! We can call for help!â
âUh, letâs not get hasty here,â James said. âIâm sure we can get the car out without having to resort to calling anyone. Have some faith, girl.â He grinned at me, and I realized it was one of the first times he had smiled this whole trip.
âSure, letâs give it the old college try first,â I said gamely. Sean looked puzzled.
âBut I never went to college, Sarah,â he said. God almighty. A new t-shirt came to mind for Susie to wear this time âMy 1987 Volvo Has a Higher I.Q. Than Youâ.
âJust an expression, my sweet,â Susie cooed at him. Yeesh.
We squelched on through the mud heading towards the sign that supposedly marked our turn to the lake. After several miles, ok, maybe half of one, we reached it. "Lake Buena Vista" it declared in large black letters. A large black arrow pointed left. The lane, no point in trying to make it a road, it marked went off into some trees after a few hundred yards. I squinted through the trees, hoping to catch sight of some telltale blue of the lake. No dice.
âAll right troops,â I said in a fake-chipper voice, âletâs move out!â And we did. The lane had a grassy strip down the centre with ruts worn down on either side. A well-used thoroughfare for sure. All I cared was that it was blessedly mud-free.
After we hit the trees, I finally felt a change in temperature. The cool greenness enveloped us and blocked some of the rain. After a few minutes of this reprieve, I spotted the lake. Ok, Buena Vista it mi

Cunard vs. Other Cruise Lines such as Princess, HAL?




forcrazyan


A few questions please..

1. What are the things/services offered on Cunard that don't offer on other cruise lines?
2. What is that Cunard Grills Experience all about? Is that another type of dinning style? Does that cost extra?
3. Would you recommend for someone who's not comfortable dressing up all the time to cruise with Cunard?

P. S. Have cruising experience with HAL, Princess, Carnival. Thinking about trying out a new cruise line.
Thank you.



Answer
Perhaps our experiences may help you in a different direction.

Our very first cruise was Princess, Vancouver to Seward in Alaska. Loved it.

Cunard is not like Princess and certainly nothing like Carnival (not been on Carnival - never will!). It is run as a separate "brand" under Carnival but there the similarity stops. Having done a Transatlantic trip Cunard is perfection in high class living!

We had several other quality big ship cruises worldwide before realising we were missing the "real world" passing by. Big ships only visit tourist trap destinations and sometimes we were appalled to find 2/3 other big ships also in for the day and the town swamped by passengers.

We now only go on small (+/-100 passengers) ships visiting remote/unusual/incredible places. Seldom do we see a major city (except departure + arrival) but we have:-
Sat with 1/2 million King penguins in South Georgia (Antarctica)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1393379/King-Penguin-colony-South-Georgia-Stunning-pictures-worlds-largest-cr-che.html
Drifted in the ships Zodiacs for 2 hours watching 20 humpback whales "bubble feeding" in a remote area of Alaska.
Sat with a family of Walrus (very grumpy and fishy smelly!) and 50 ft above Polar Bear that had just caught and was eating a seal in Svalaard (500 miles north of the top of Norway).
http://www.etravelphotos.com/photo.php?pid=2068
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi8K9z3JfB8
Drifted through the icebergs in Disko Bay Greenland.
Been on a dormant active volcano (White Island) in New Zealand.
http://www.whiteisland.co.nz/
Stood one side of a river watching the bears catching salmon the other side (remote Alaska)
Stood in our "wellies" in a remote Alaskan gravel stream (with our Zodiac beached near us) and watched the salmon running through our feet.
Swum with wild baby seals and been overwhelmed by the wildlife variety (Galapagos)
Visited the scientific bases on the Antarctic peninsular.
http://ukaht.org/peninsula/port-lockroy
Next year going on the National Geographic research ship whale watching off Baja California, and later in the year 24 person luxury boat exploring the Peruvian Amazon!
Etc. etc.

On these ships you have a selection of top quality guides. Typically:- geology, history, marine life etc. who give very informative lectures on the "nature all around you". It is amazing what you learn!

You spend a lot of time out in their Zodiacs visiting Nature in the raw! Your fellow travellers are well educated and knowledgeable - you travel in great comfort/service but the ships priorities are to give you experiences of a lifetime! The costs are similar to the best suites on the big ships - but the experiences are a million times better!

This may open your mind to a world you don't know exists - or the thought of it may appal you!




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Title Post: ☼ Can you pen an amusing little tale that includes as many of these lines as possible?
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