Is my mother in law a selfish woman and a bad Grandma or am I overreacting?

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My husbands Mother and Father came to visit us from Mexico for nine weeks. My husband and I paid for everything. We spent $1500 just on the airline tickets. His brother gave them $1500 cash to spend and my husband gave them an additional $500. Every time we went to a restaurant we paid for everything. If we went to the store she would get $10 worth of candy, hair dye, medicine, make-up etc. These $10-$15 purchases added up to $300-$500 by the time they left. My husband and I have four children and my husbands brother also has four.

His mother would take the candy that she would get every time they went to the store and hide it in her bedroom. When my kids would come around and want some she would not give it to them. She does not speak English so I was unable to ask her what her problem was. Another issue that I had was that she wanted nothing to do with my two year old twins. They would often try to follow them around and she would never pick them up. On one occasion I seen her push them away. She was sitting in a rocking chair and one of my girls was trying to climb into her lap and she pushed her away. They would go outside and my twins would try to follow them. The second that my girls were behind them they would come and get me. I told my husband and he ask them what the problem was and his mother told them she was afraid they would get hurt. So basically she was saying that she did not want to be around my girls because they might get hurt. I cannot understand this because my mother watches them all the time and she actually enjoys it and is not afraid they will get hurt. My girls are very calm and all they wanted was to sit in a rocking chair with this lady. This was not a one time thing. Everyday my girls would follow her around and she never wanted anything to do with them. The other issue is that she wanted to go shopping everyday. I thought it was strange that she came with hardly nothing. Now I know why. She planned on shopping with my husband and his brothers money. When she went home she had 8 large suitcases and several backpack stuffed full. I really think she spent more than my husband is telling me about but he just does not want me to get more upset so he is not telling me. She bought name brand shoes for all of her grand kids in Mexico and new clothes and jewelry for herself. She also bought her grand kids a little clothing as well. She did not buy nothing for her grandkids in the US.

I also recall that when my husband went to visit her two years ago at Christmas she was telling him the shoe sizes of all the kids over there and asking him to bring new shoes. He did not buy them shoes because I told him we cannot afford to do that. Once his mother came to visit I started getting facebook request from his family in Mexico. I accepted and after looking at the pics they are dresses better than my kids and all have Iphone. Also, if they are having it so bad then why would his mother buy her grand kids expensive nike shoes when she could have stretched the money by buying cheaper. It always bothered me when my husband sent money over there but I never made a big deal about it because I figured they were poor. Now that I seen his mother go on her shopping sprees and I see there facebooks that they have iphone, were Hollister clothing, and flash money I do not want my husband sending anymore money to them. Also in there kitchen they have newer stanless stile appliances and granite counter tops. I ask my husband who's house it was and he said his mom. That infuriated me because if they can afford those luxury's I would like to keep our money for our future and our kids. I basically told my husband that is mom is a selfish witch that does not care anything for her grandkids in the US. I also told him that if he sends another dime over there I will be filling for divorce. I was ok with him helping when I thought they were dirt poor but even I can not afford an iphone so why would I send money to someone that can?

So am I being unreasonable? Does my mother in law sound like an unloving selfish grandma?

His dad also came but he was nothing like husbands mom. His dad was very humble and hardly said a word and actually tried to throw baseball with my ten year old son a few times but every time his wife stopped him. She thought he was to old at 67 to throw a ball to my son. Yes he is a little old but he gets around and nothing is wrong with his arms. My feelings are kind of hurt and I am pissed about her wasting my husbands money so freely. A few items she bought $30 towel sets, $100 neckless, nike tennis shoes, etc
Also, the only reason they were supposed to be coming is so they could see there grandkids. I was not comfortable with allowing my husband to take them to Mexico so he helped them get a visitors visa. Then his mother wanted nothing to do with my kids. I do not think we can afford for them to come back and I do not see the point. It will be easyer for my husband to visit them and less expensive.

Answer
I have seen this typr of situation before. Your mother -in-law thinks that everything is so much better here in the US. My grandmother treated us the same way. My grandma made it look like my dad was supposed to work and support her and my aunt and my 2 cousins, but my parents had 4 kids. When my dad left our country, my grandma used to act like he should've been sending money to her to support her and his sister. When he was sending packages to us, she wanted those to be send to her so she can see what he was sending to us. This is just how your Monther-in-law is, and you may have to choose if you want to deal with it or not.

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Title Post: Is my mother in law a selfish woman and a bad Grandma or am I overreacting?
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