Is my friend taking advantage of me and is she worth keeping around?

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Princess29

A number of things happened this weekend that just annoyed me about my friend and I can't hardly begin to explain it all, one thing in particular sounds petty but it all adds up! I kept trying to have an open mind and except how she is but when it's costing me money to hang out with her plus it annoys me I can't ignore that. She blows thru her money then expects other people to just help her out! I think it's rude. She said she's going to tell her family for the 2nd year in a row that her and her husband don't have the money to "do Christmas!) how rude! Mean while she's driving a luxury car, buying unnecessary items for the baby she is expecting (because she wants it), and have drinks at starbucks like it's cheap! I mean if your on a budget this is not how you act and then to cut your families Christmas gifts before buying yourself frivolous things that's awful! She expects her family to still buy her stuff for her baby, and for all three of them for Christmas even though she apparently can't afford it! This weekend she borrowed $1.25 from me while at a yard sale because she didn't have change then later I mentioned something about it and she was like oh I owe you that...I was like yes then she said oh i'll have to pay you that then didn't and we hung out today and she didn't...i mean i know it seems petty of me but I didn't loan her money I needed cash for yardsaleing too and she just kept it! She tries this every weekend too! It's like any little bit of something she can get from me she does! It's annoying! I have to watch her because it's so bad! How unkind of her to be that way to a "friend" or anyone for that matter. When she's at my house she eats everything in site even if it's the last home baked brownie I made for my husband! She takes granola bars out of my pantry and puts them in her purse for later! & she eats my candy in my candy jar like it's going out of style. We go to yard sales every weekend together and she never brings change just a $20 bill and expects me to give her my change I went and got to be prepared for yard saleing! It's so annoying then I go to the next yard sale and she breaks her $20 and doesn't pay me back! She also does art's and crafts with me and any bit of supplies she can use of mine she does then doesn't give me anything in return, we'll go shopping together for the supplies and she'll act like she doesn't need something we are going to use then I pay for it and she uses it! She know's I have two of something she needs and she'll hint around that she "needs" it when I've told her where she can buy it but she will not buy it because she's holding out for me to give it to her or something! I try my best to put away things when she comes over so I don't get put in that situation but that seems like to much work and to much worry for me. I'm expecting my first child as she is and I don't have the patience to be paying for her things when I need to be doing stuff for my family. Her and her husband are always going broke because they don't know how to manage money and it's not effecting my family and we save money and are thrifty so I feel like because I do manage my money why should I help her out when they make double the money we do and blow it. I tried to help her by giving her coupons for grocery's that I didn't need and she is using them but I feel like that is just another thing I do for her and I get nothing in return, she has invited me for dinner at her house once and she does drive her car when we go shopping far away because I don't like highway driving (20 minute trips) but that's all she has done for me. We've been friends for a few months. What do you think? Is she taking advantage of me? Should I keep her around? The thing is I just moved here, and so did she...so neither of us have any other friends here which makes this a hard decision plus we both will have our babies in a couple months.
So today she suggest that she needs to go by the ATM like 4-5 times and says I do owe that $1.25 to you too. Then she was needing cash and she was like I really need to go to the ATM, I sat there quietly not offering any money to her, knowing she has cash because she hasn't been anywhere to spend it since this weekend, she leaves to pretend to go to the ATM I know this because she wasn't gone long enough to get to her ATM...and without getting change she hands me back the $1.25 then uses her money to buy something she wanted which you couldn't buy with a charge card. I know the whole thing was to attempt to get out of paying me and get more money from me but I didn't let her.
I am actually worried about her taking or making use of my babies items when she needs them or even when she doesn't to save herself the money...this is a BIG reason I'm wondering what to do now while I still have time before the babies get here! I need advice!

Answer
Good Lord woman!

Is what type of car your financial advisor drives important?

Notyme4BS

I recently got a position as a financial advisor at a bank in a very upscale community. I have been out of the business for a little over a year while I finished my MBA.

I am being entrusted to manage a sizeable dollar amount and number of clients for this institution. Many of these clients will pay more in taxes this year than what I will make over the next two.

I JUST paid off my car, which is a nice compact car. I had planned on keeping this car for 3 more years as my plan was to teach after getting my MBA. However, with the economy the way it is, the only job I could find was the financial advisor position.

Now that I have to reenter the world of finance and present myself and image to the public for their scrutiny in order to get them to trust me with their life savings in some cases.

Do you think that it would be imperative to purchase a luxury car or a "status" car in order to project the image of success?

Answer
The issue often isn't the car as much as the why.

Obviously a pimpmobile is not going to work for you. The luxury or "status" car choice again depends on the message you intend to express or what "status" you are assuming.

I had some very wealthy professors when getting my economics degree, most of them had less than new cars. They may have had a mercedes or BMW, but you need to have known why. It wasn't the flash, it was the stability and engineering quality (back then American cars were pretty slipshod stuff). There were common sedans from Ford, Mercury, Cadillac, Oldsmobile, and Buick, while prestige models of their brands, but they were comfortable, stable cars. If they were driving to another city for a conference, it was a comfortable ride with room for others and their luggage and maybe golf clubs too.

Some of the top accountants I've known drive old cars, sometimes real clunkers, because they are getting every penny of value out of them. Being a penny pincher was a status symbol for many.

Salesmen, now that is different. They keep trying to impress but usually by being so ostentatious that they don't give the right impression. Some of the sales managers are different because they drive status cars in order inspire their sales staff to make the sales to make the bucks. To a wannabe salesman, the car is the status to salesmen.

My recommendation is to keep the car clean (inside and out) and invest in a simple bumper stick that says "Its paid for". On the other hand, if you are going to be transporting clients (make sure your insurance is ratcheted up to six or seven digit figures of liability, business rating, and a personal liability umbrella) then shop for a nice, clean low-mileage sedan. I recently bought a low mile 2006 mercury marquis for $12k and when I took it to the shop that does my oil changes the normally well-uniformed and tidy mechanics were afraid to get in it because it was so nice (so I got the plastic seat and floor covers and then they spent extra time doing a careful vacuuming, it was fun to watch). So if you are careful you can look really good without spending a lot. When I drive the women don't drool but when I get out the men speak "sir" a lot. That is all you need, not a jag or lexus, just common respect because of a sensible and responsible image. You see, it isn't the car, it is the person driving it that matters.

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Title Post: Is my friend taking advantage of me and is she worth keeping around?
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