Why cant my family get along?

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OK well ever since me and my 2 brothers were little our parents never got along. Every discussion turned into an argument which turned into my father becoming physically and emotionally abusive towards my mom. Eventually he usually would get tired of arguing, go get drunk and spend the weekend at a motel.
Just never being able to see how humans work out theyre problems, feels like its been very detrimental to my health. I have anxiety and depression problems, and have had them from age 12-19(present).

Now our parents have separated, but n othing has really changed. My dad still comes to the house, which seems like it causes more problems than fixes them. I agree with my dad with alot of things, he doesnt want to watch my mother spoil me and my brothers which she was always guilty of.

For Example. Once the time came around for me to think about getting a car, my father made it very clear that in order for my family to buy me a car, i had to EARN it.
I had the option to chose what i wanted, wether it was making all A's through highschool, Staying active in church activities or sports and clubs at school, or become an eagle scout. I decided to become an eagle scout, which was by far the biggest accomplishment of my life. It taught me how great it feels to actually earn something for myself, which i had never experienced previously.
Now, a few years later my brothers learning to drive. He seems to think he will get a car even if he doesnt earn it, and my mother who spoils all of us will most likely buy it for him. What am i supposed to think about this? I had to work very hard for nearly half my life to become an eagle scout, now i watch my brother fail his way thruough highschool without doing any extra curricular activities, and he still gets the car. Not to mention it will probably be a nicer, more expensive car that I wasnt aloud to get..
Honestly this makes me never want to see any of my family again. It's one of the worst feelings iveever had, I think about how things with my family are every second of the day and it makes me really fucking depressed. How can my parents let him get his car when its so unfair for me? I worked my ass off for nothing? is this the life lesson i was supposed to learn? meanwhile my brothers get whatever they ask for, eat expensive restaraunts every night, wear name brand clothes, while when i was their age i was always an outcast, antisocial, and NEVER recieved any of these luxuries.


All of this fighting just seems extremely unhealthy and i feel very lost in the situation. Trying to speak up for what i feel is right, just turns everyone against eachother.
Has anyone been through this before? I just feel wrong sitting by watching all of this happen, even if im the kid and my parents can't do their job

Answer
OK since no one else is answering you I am going to try. You are the lucky one, you were wise to follow dad's advice and earn the car. the experience has made you a better man as you admit. It is hard to push a kid to achieve, and now it seems like now your parents are taking the easy way out and trying to BUY the love of your siblings. I think you understand on a gut level that they are moving away from being good parents and toward being bad parents. I think you have some confusion along the lines of: they love you less since they are giving brothers all this stuff. NOT TRUE, get that thought out of your head. it is more like they are slacking off their duties as parents.
why doesn't your family get along? easy: your dad has big problems and is failing in life.
what can you do? well, I don't think you can change your parents. so do not try. No my friend but you have a vital role to play and that is to help your brothers. you - because of your age - are now able to see that your family is not normal and is basically dysfunctional. Your brothers do not have your perspective and they need it desperately. try to remember how hurt and confused you were at their age by all the fighting and abuse. You need to help them understand that not all families are like that and not all people are like that. You need to BECOME the big brother that they need. Become the dependable adult in their life. You need to spend LOTS of time with them and let them know they can talk to you about anything. you might not feel like you are equipped to take on this role (as you say you have not seen how normal adults resolve problems), and yes it might be challenging. you can use the yahoo community for advice as things come up that you don't know how to handle. You are the ONE PERSON who is best positioned to help them, and if you don't the chance is high that they will end up like your dad. Please help your brothers. If you want to discuss this some more please email me or post another question. John

Does this site sell fake raybans?

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http://www.wayfarersonnenbrille.com/ They seem fake to me. The price is too low and site looks unprofessional. Just want others opinions. Thank you

Answer
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Were they bought @ Certified Ray Ban dealer like Saks, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, department stores in your city? THEY'RE REAL. Those stores don't sell fake Designer Labels or brands! Outlet stores, Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Ross, etc. . . . don't sell fake merchandise, or they would have been CLOSED down. They sell the same quality products as those other bigger stores, 35-45% less, because they've been rejected by Quality Controllers. They may have a small flaw, packaging dents, scratched, or ripped, maybe the hem was off, or missing a button or belt loop . . .or who knows what they were looking for but 90% nothing wrong with them!
A Tiffany & Co. subsidiary is suing Costco, claiming the wholesale club operator has been selling engagement rings wrongly labeled "Tiffany" rings. 2-14-13

China, after all, is the fastest growing luxury market in the world.
The 10 Most Counterfeited Products in America http://finance.yahoo.com/news/the-10-most-counterfeited-products-in-america-180942491.html

Don't go by the style, or the brand, not one size fits all.
People's Beauty Watch Feb 2013 issue page 134, both Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus have right lens lower than the left lens, not fitting properly! Even models (ex: J Crew page 21) wear sunglasses crocked wearing Ray Ban Aviator!
Best answer is to try each one in front of a mirror. Do they slide off your nose? Can you see your eyebrows? Are they snug when you wear them? Can you see your eyes? Are they Polarised or do they have Photochromic lenses? Does your eyebrows shows? Do you like to hide them when you wear your sunglasses? Do you like them? Buy them.
According to the AARP Class I took - they recommend if you wear sunglasses, to pick amber lenses, if you're going to drive, better visibility.

I've been wearing RayBan Wayfarers since the 80's, and I have 2 new ones to go over my regular eyeglasses. Ray Bans have been around since 1937, they KNOW what they're doing. The last one I ordered from Piperline, was Floral style, but they kept falling off me, I returned it right away!

I also suggest when paying for online purchases, don't use Paypal, it takes just once to be a victim. I was and it took 3 years to get my credit. Use your Credit Card, always, they can help you if any disputes.

AND beware of international shipping, they could add 3-25% extra fees, even if the price is cheap.
My merchant was from Texas, but the product was shipped from Hong Kong.
Other times, when you need to call Customer Service, they speak in foreign tongue and no one to translate them or JUST they don't answer calls.

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