Q. I need to hear what you think about my situation. Its always good to see another persons point of view. And i will make sure to read everyone's answers.
My question is this:
I am single. I have been single for just a little over a year now. I have had some girlfriends that are just amazing in every factor. Great personalites, beauty, great future.
But..
the problem was that since i was 18 i moved out on my own because my parents moved away. And i always wanted my girl to be with me some nights at my place but they still lived at home or went away to college and could never come over and stay the night. But at the way i was living my age at 18 i was growing up faster than my friends. I picked up a full time job at a Corporate America Bank and had a part time job on the side. And was going to college at the same time. I had to stop college for the time being. So now that im 21 i have been single for awhile. I went the route of just having fun after my last gf and meeting new people and doing my own thing. But i did have quite a bit of one night stands. I was never and will never be an A** hole to any of the women. But it seems to me that now its just a fling for me. I do not gain any feelings and im always honest up front with every girl where i stood. And i every women i hooked up with was over my age. I have a problem talking to women my age a lot of the time.
I get the urge to want to get a relationship again but not sure if i am ready for it. I always enjoyed going out with my girl to dinner or whatever she wanted. Or just kicking it at my place or her place and just be simple and watch a movie. And i def miss having that luxury, but other times the freedom is great as well. And a lot of people say that im still young and to live the life now and someone will come along later. But I have met some great single women who i did not hook up with that i just pass by knowing they would want to date. I am not able to decide what to do. Im at a stand still.
What do you think i should do?
I appreciate the great answers so far.
I know 21 is young to be worried about anything but last time i checked i was 10 years playing tag outside with all my friends. haha you know?
and i mean i play football indoor and outdoors on saturday and sundays. I play volleyball mondays and sundays. I play basketball on wednesdays and thursdays. I mean i am always busy and work 7am to 3:30 pm M-F and work my other job wednesdays and saturdays.
Plus i try to visit my parents as much as a i can and also spend time with my friends. And also have time for myself. its alot and i doubt there is any girl out there who would try to work my schedule. I mean i do not have a big ego what so ever but i am a bomb as* bf. I was raised by my parents and grandparents to respect women no matter what. open doors, pay for her, buy her things just because. And i def follow those rules which also alot of girls do not like. But i do make mistakes. I do speak my mind and very close to my friends and fam.
and i back my girl up through thick and thin. No matter what happens. but i am also picky about my women. no smoking, no offense but must be attractive, great personality and a great family. The family part i know they do not have control over but it something i do look at.
and i do have a personality different than any other guy i know. Im all about not being bored and making sure my girl smiles and has a great time. I would do anything to put a smile on her face. I have the best friends in the world. And if i ever become serious with my a girl i know she is always protected by my boys even when im out doing something else. but i am very selective about my women and do not bring a lot of women around my boys. It would be annoying to them after awhile.
I know im all over the place but thats why i asked this question.
My question is this:
I am single. I have been single for just a little over a year now. I have had some girlfriends that are just amazing in every factor. Great personalites, beauty, great future.
But..
the problem was that since i was 18 i moved out on my own because my parents moved away. And i always wanted my girl to be with me some nights at my place but they still lived at home or went away to college and could never come over and stay the night. But at the way i was living my age at 18 i was growing up faster than my friends. I picked up a full time job at a Corporate America Bank and had a part time job on the side. And was going to college at the same time. I had to stop college for the time being. So now that im 21 i have been single for awhile. I went the route of just having fun after my last gf and meeting new people and doing my own thing. But i did have quite a bit of one night stands. I was never and will never be an A** hole to any of the women. But it seems to me that now its just a fling for me. I do not gain any feelings and im always honest up front with every girl where i stood. And i every women i hooked up with was over my age. I have a problem talking to women my age a lot of the time.
I get the urge to want to get a relationship again but not sure if i am ready for it. I always enjoyed going out with my girl to dinner or whatever she wanted. Or just kicking it at my place or her place and just be simple and watch a movie. And i def miss having that luxury, but other times the freedom is great as well. And a lot of people say that im still young and to live the life now and someone will come along later. But I have met some great single women who i did not hook up with that i just pass by knowing they would want to date. I am not able to decide what to do. Im at a stand still.
What do you think i should do?
I appreciate the great answers so far.
I know 21 is young to be worried about anything but last time i checked i was 10 years playing tag outside with all my friends. haha you know?
and i mean i play football indoor and outdoors on saturday and sundays. I play volleyball mondays and sundays. I play basketball on wednesdays and thursdays. I mean i am always busy and work 7am to 3:30 pm M-F and work my other job wednesdays and saturdays.
Plus i try to visit my parents as much as a i can and also spend time with my friends. And also have time for myself. its alot and i doubt there is any girl out there who would try to work my schedule. I mean i do not have a big ego what so ever but i am a bomb as* bf. I was raised by my parents and grandparents to respect women no matter what. open doors, pay for her, buy her things just because. And i def follow those rules which also alot of girls do not like. But i do make mistakes. I do speak my mind and very close to my friends and fam.
and i back my girl up through thick and thin. No matter what happens. but i am also picky about my women. no smoking, no offense but must be attractive, great personality and a great family. The family part i know they do not have control over but it something i do look at.
and i do have a personality different than any other guy i know. Im all about not being bored and making sure my girl smiles and has a great time. I would do anything to put a smile on her face. I have the best friends in the world. And if i ever become serious with my a girl i know she is always protected by my boys even when im out doing something else. but i am very selective about my women and do not bring a lot of women around my boys. It would be annoying to them after awhile.
I know im all over the place but thats why i asked this question.
Answer
Well, I think you got some great advice from Jamie already and I just wanted to elaborate a little bit on that and drive the point home from a guy's perspective.
Right now you're jumping around from one night stand to the next. You're passing on girls that won't put out on the first date. Why?? Just b/c she wants something serious and wants to date and not screw, doesn't mean you can't go out and have a fun date. If you feel compelled to see her again, then do that. If not, then stop seeing her. Most girls (although some don't) seem to realize that even 2-3 dates doesn't signify any exclusive commitment. Everyone has a right to dip a toe in the water before we dive in (aka declare: "This is my woman!")
btw... I wouldn't say, "You are my woman" to her...
You're busy. That doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. Who exactly decided that a serious relationship means that you have to be together ALL THE TIME. Personally, I can't stand those relationships. I got a lot going on myself, so... if you encounter a girl who thinks being together means literally being together all the time, I don't think that's much of a catch. That type of girlfriend is usually very dependent on whoever she's dating, gets into bad relationships b/c she can't stand to be single for more than a week, and might even make you feel more like a babysitter than a boyfriend. You moved out young and entered the real world at 18. You know how to take care of yourself out here and will probably be happiest with a girlfriend who's self-sufficient as well.
Well, I think you got some great advice from Jamie already and I just wanted to elaborate a little bit on that and drive the point home from a guy's perspective.
Right now you're jumping around from one night stand to the next. You're passing on girls that won't put out on the first date. Why?? Just b/c she wants something serious and wants to date and not screw, doesn't mean you can't go out and have a fun date. If you feel compelled to see her again, then do that. If not, then stop seeing her. Most girls (although some don't) seem to realize that even 2-3 dates doesn't signify any exclusive commitment. Everyone has a right to dip a toe in the water before we dive in (aka declare: "This is my woman!")
btw... I wouldn't say, "You are my woman" to her...
You're busy. That doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. Who exactly decided that a serious relationship means that you have to be together ALL THE TIME. Personally, I can't stand those relationships. I got a lot going on myself, so... if you encounter a girl who thinks being together means literally being together all the time, I don't think that's much of a catch. That type of girlfriend is usually very dependent on whoever she's dating, gets into bad relationships b/c she can't stand to be single for more than a week, and might even make you feel more like a babysitter than a boyfriend. You moved out young and entered the real world at 18. You know how to take care of yourself out here and will probably be happiest with a girlfriend who's self-sufficient as well.
"Men are supposed to be made of steel or something..."?
Q. This was a line from the movie Steel Magnolias as M'Lynn and her husband Drum waited for the news of their daughter's inevitable death while she lay in a coma in a hospital bed. When Shelby (the daughter) died, you saw M'Lynn go right into gear telling her husband what to do, telling her son-in-law what to do and then after doing that leaves the hospital to rush to the side of her late daughter's toddler. With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, she went right into doing what needed to be done and the guys did what? They did what she told them to do. There were things to be done and there really was no time to grieve until the affairs of a death are taken care of, but women SO often have to backburner everything they're feeling to "do what we gotta do".
Seeing this movie recently caused me reflect on something that I really didn't learn until adulthood. In most homes, the strength of the family rests its burden on the woman's shoulders be they single, wife, or mother. When it comes to death, illness, co-parenting issues or any other critical decision that has to be made, why does alot of this burden get placed on women to get the family through it? WHY IS THIS? Why isn't this a joint effort?
I have witnessed so many situations that you would think a man would demonstrate all of his "he-man" strength and just dive into doing what needs to be done or at least take the "leadership" role that we always hear about but alot of times men seem to become paralyzed when it comes to taking care of very necessary things and the woman has to take over. And mind you, I don't mean help, I mean TAKE OVER.
In my childhood and for much of my young adulthood I always thought that the MEN were supposed to be the strength of the family, you know, the fearless leaders, the shot-callers and all of that. We were supposed to be the "help-meet", RIGHT? Alot of the time women end up being the decison makers, the plan executioner, and the all-around glue of the family. If you don't watch him close, a man will "escape" a situation that he and his wife/woman are both called to deal with and run to the bar or somewhere he can't be found until the problem has worked itself out. WHY IS THAT?
I didn't realize how passive men could be about alot of issues or problems until I faced certain situations in my own life in which I found myself on my own solving problems without the help of men who should have been right there with me.
Is it just me or does anyone else notice this too? Men, please know that women are exhausted and we need your help on things that should be a joint effort. What you may not know is that many times we don't know what to do either......but SOMETHING has to be done, SOME decisions have to be made and we don't have the luxury of bailing. It's no wonder that football players look gleefully into the camera and mouth the words, "Hi Mom" so much more often than you see "Hi Dad".
So is it just a fallacy that "men are made of steel"? Is it a myth that men are the leaders of their households? Or is it the truth that behind every great man is a strong woman putting up with alot of crap because she did all the work, yet he gets to be purported as "the leader". I don't get it.
Before you send your hateful comments, please know in advance that I am generalizing (of course) and that this is absolutely not the case for ALL men.......but for those of you who has ever escaped a problem in the house be it big or small and left your woman to handle it tell me....why do you do that?
Seeing this movie recently caused me reflect on something that I really didn't learn until adulthood. In most homes, the strength of the family rests its burden on the woman's shoulders be they single, wife, or mother. When it comes to death, illness, co-parenting issues or any other critical decision that has to be made, why does alot of this burden get placed on women to get the family through it? WHY IS THIS? Why isn't this a joint effort?
I have witnessed so many situations that you would think a man would demonstrate all of his "he-man" strength and just dive into doing what needs to be done or at least take the "leadership" role that we always hear about but alot of times men seem to become paralyzed when it comes to taking care of very necessary things and the woman has to take over. And mind you, I don't mean help, I mean TAKE OVER.
In my childhood and for much of my young adulthood I always thought that the MEN were supposed to be the strength of the family, you know, the fearless leaders, the shot-callers and all of that. We were supposed to be the "help-meet", RIGHT? Alot of the time women end up being the decison makers, the plan executioner, and the all-around glue of the family. If you don't watch him close, a man will "escape" a situation that he and his wife/woman are both called to deal with and run to the bar or somewhere he can't be found until the problem has worked itself out. WHY IS THAT?
I didn't realize how passive men could be about alot of issues or problems until I faced certain situations in my own life in which I found myself on my own solving problems without the help of men who should have been right there with me.
Is it just me or does anyone else notice this too? Men, please know that women are exhausted and we need your help on things that should be a joint effort. What you may not know is that many times we don't know what to do either......but SOMETHING has to be done, SOME decisions have to be made and we don't have the luxury of bailing. It's no wonder that football players look gleefully into the camera and mouth the words, "Hi Mom" so much more often than you see "Hi Dad".
So is it just a fallacy that "men are made of steel"? Is it a myth that men are the leaders of their households? Or is it the truth that behind every great man is a strong woman putting up with alot of crap because she did all the work, yet he gets to be purported as "the leader". I don't get it.
Before you send your hateful comments, please know in advance that I am generalizing (of course) and that this is absolutely not the case for ALL men.......but for those of you who has ever escaped a problem in the house be it big or small and left your woman to handle it tell me....why do you do that?
Answer
I think that has allot to do with protection. Our knight in shining armor. What were the women doing while the men are off fighting? Woman are the glue that holds everything together, making home besides women are more emotionally charged.
Just my two cents
I think that has allot to do with protection. Our knight in shining armor. What were the women doing while the men are off fighting? Woman are the glue that holds everything together, making home besides women are more emotionally charged.
Just my two cents
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Title Post: A question for the women and a true answer would be great!?
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Rating: 98% based on 9457 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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