I want to be a comedian, can you guys give me some feedback about my funny jokes, poems?

luxury watches for women with diamond image

Phat Ly

From the past, baby girl said love you
You said baby girl is too young, know nothing
Right now baby girl is a teenager
You praise baby beautiful
Baby says youâre just too old.

Love each other, wear ring each other
Diamond Iâll take, silver Iâll dump.

Eat less, full less
Eat more, waste more.

When he leaves, he says heâs missing the house
Missing fried chicken, soda, and ice cream
Also missing McâDonald and Burger King
Missing when he ate all he can, and waited for me to pay the bill.

Worship wife is well health
Afraid wife is long life
Let wife sit on your head is immortal.

Takes ladder up and asks god
âGold and silver, which one is heavy?â
God answer to the person
âI play diamond, how can I show you?â

Still water, still splash
Still talk, still slap!

Have beard is not ew
Have beard is to passion yourself
Have is beard is not old
Have beard is to know youâre a hero
Have beard is not ugly
Have beard is to know you male or female.

Everyone will keep his or her promise
If they still remember what they've promised.

Girls, say one is two
Girls, say two is one
Girls, say yes mean no
Girls, say no mean yes.

The girl beautiful, charming is a girl in the dream
The girl good, nice is a girl in the kindergarten.

My hair long, I wear flower
My mouth wide, I laugh like horse.

Baby boy, baby blue
Baby bombs balloon
Baby butts balloon
Balloon bobs
BAMM!
Baby bad, baby blows bee
Baby blasts bee
Bee bites back baby
Bye-bye bad baby.

Got a letter from girlfriend
Hap-hap py-py opens it up
In the letter you wrote six words
âHoney, tomorrow I will marry him.â

Teacher told me to sit near a guy
Oh my! Handsome than the word handsome
Making me more study, more stupid.

Noon noon, go to backyard
See you girl nicely hold a knife
You catch, you chop, you cut the chicken in five
Oh my god! Are you really a girl?

Friend, can I copy your works
Even know weâre different gender but still in same table.

My house, he lives
My car, he drives
My TV, he watches
My food, he eats
My son, he controls
My wife, he hugs
End of the month, I pay bill.

âMommy, I want a husbandâ
Mommy says
âAnd so do I.â

Boyfriend borrows bathroom
Hearing from far, bubble raining
Boyfriend's saying something
âIâm washing my hands, donât misunderstand.â

Males exercise get muscle
Females no exercise still get muscle.

Men open mouth then luxury
Women open mouth then bankrupt.

âI am the most handsome man in the world!â
âXee!â
âHe is booger but he thinks he is burger!â
"1st place ugly but he thinks he is 2nd place beautiful!"


Please give me some feedback! Tell me if there is anything offensive in these poems, or short jokes, thanks a lot! These are just meant for fun. Nothing serious though!

Answer
Um, go back to the drawing board. Most of these I don't understand at all, a few were clever but not exactly funny. Also the whole broken english trope is offensive. Even if you didn't mean anything by it, it's still pretty low.

Why are the airwaves full of ads showing men producing Valentine's Day gifts for women, but not women for men?

John S.

The jewelry stores are in high swing this February with their ads showing men running out to buy jewelry for their ladies. "He went to JARED!", "Every Gift Begins with Kay", and all the others, etc.

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company has got their annual "Love Bandit" ad in heavy rotation showing the office females cooing and fawning over the gift bear ("It's much BIGGER than I thought!" and "Where can I find a guy like that?").

The Pajama-gram folks have got their standard ad in heavy rotation, showing the slinky women in new pajamas with looks of total ecstasy on their faces and how guys will probably win some special bedroom affection if they just buy their ladies some cuddly new pajamas.

But where are the ads showing women sweating over what they are going to get for their man this Valentine's Day? Or is this a day where only men give and women receive?

Oh I forgot...all women have to do is give their AFFECTION in exchange for material gifts, right? Or at least this is the subtle message we seem to be getting from the.marketing gurus who write these commercials.

I know many women who feel equally obligated to get their man a gift on Valentine's Day...so how come the advertisers don't seem to be trying to serve this consumer need, especially since women seem to wield so much spending power?

Answer
1. Men have a harder time knowing what to buy a woman for any occasion. Marketing schemes exploit this by showing men images of women loving their products. It's likely not that men don't know what women want so much as that it's women who do the majority of the shopping. When women want or need something, they buy it on a regular shopping trip. So it is very infrequent that a woman wants or needs something practical. Jewelery is impractical and expensive, and about the only thing left to buy women for "special occasions."

2. In a capitalist society, we are eager to show how wealthy we are by practicing conspicuous consumption, and companies that market luxury items are eager to capitalize on that.

3. Men still feel the pressure to provide for women in an age where women make ALMOST as much money as men. That's an example of different areas of social interaction evolving at different rates.

4. The female double standard. Women want "equal rights" and equal treatment, as long as it works in their favor. Women demand to be treated as good as men in politics and business, but have no interest in giving up their female privilege. Women (generally) don't want to be drafted into war, so it's okay that their not treated equally in that regard. Also, women don't want to give up being pampered, showered with gifts, and treated like weaklings when it suits them. So, there's currently an expectation for men to somehow know when women want to be treated equally, and when they want to be treated like the "fairer sex."

Like it or not, this is not a perfect society. Each gender, class, and race has its "cross to bear." Unfortunately, one of yours is Valentine's Day. Everyone, do me a favor. When you think you want to buy or receive diamonds, watch "Blood Diamond" instead. Realize you are not getting a precious stone, but a readily available rock for which people are being killed so that you may wear a status symbol. Diamonds are not expensive because they are rare or precious, but because you demand them.

End of rant.

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Title Post: I want to be a comedian, can you guys give me some feedback about my funny jokes, poems?
Rating: 98% based on 9457 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown

Thanks For Coming To My Blog