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Cecilia
My husband and I have many disagreement, of many things. I want to go back to work, but he demands that his mom to watch my 7 months old daughter too. I do not feel comfortable with his mom watching my baby. I would strongly love to leave my baby with my mom. But he want to make an agreement that his mom should watch her too. How can I make my husband understand that I only want to leave my baby at one place instead of going back in forth. My husband tells me that its his baby too, and that he has the right to deside who to watch our 7 month old. He don't want to leave her at a daycare. So, what should I do...
At my husbands mothers house, is a very dirty environment. His dad has his mechanic company there at their house. I mean there are tools and lots of dirty dogs that has fleas. they also keep them in the house. My mom has a clean environment house. Has no man to brag to her to make him food. On the other hand when my father in law snaps his fingers to my mother in law. she must obey. So how can my mother in law care for my child when their are dogs with fleas, lots of tools everywhere, and they have grandchildrens that has lice. I mean come on. I'm not trying to take her away from her grandmother. I'm just looking for the best interest for my daughter. My mom has no man to care for. She can watch 100%. She has no dog in or outside. neither does she has kids with lice. by all means my son does not have lice. THE FACT IS THAT MY HUSBAND FAMILY ARE LAZY AND NASTY!
At my husbands mothers house, is a very dirty environment. His dad has his mechanic company there at their house. I mean there are tools and lots of dirty dogs that has fleas. they also keep them in the house. My mom has a clean environment house. Has no man to brag to her to make him food. On the other hand when my father in law snaps his fingers to my mother in law. she must obey. So how can my mother in law care for my child when their are dogs with fleas, lots of tools everywhere, and they have grandchildrens that has lice. I mean come on. I'm not trying to take her away from her grandmother. I'm just looking for the best interest for my daughter. My mom has no man to care for. She can watch 100%. She has no dog in or outside. neither does she has kids with lice. by all means my son does not have lice. THE FACT IS THAT MY HUSBAND FAMILY ARE LAZY AND NASTY!
Answer
From the sounds of it, your husband could have come and asked almost the exact same question: "How can I make my wife understand that I only want to leave the baby at one place rather than going back and forth...and I want that person to be my mom." Your husband is right...it IS his baby, too.
So, what you two need to decide "together" is not what either of you want...but what is best for the baby. I think many would agree that a more stable environment would be better...that regardless of where the baby stays, that she not move around more than necessary, and one caregiver would be ideal. Others though, would agree that it is better to have the lil' one get used to more than one caregiver, in case one cannot be present at all times, and so that she is more used to spending time with other people as well.
You two need to discuss whether BOTH households, your mother and his, are clean and stable. You are BOTH going to have to put aside some piece of how you'd like the lil' one to be raised...because you will both have different ideals about that. You, most obviously trust your mother the most to make the best decisions...UNDERSTAND that he likely trusts HIS mom the most to make those decisions.
You two grew up differently, and you parent differently. This is GOOD for your baby. There's not a "random" reason that people say it is best to have both parents present in a child's life. It's not about having two people present...it is about the fact that mothers and fathers have different parenthood styles, and that both are desired when it comes to raising a child. Do not discount your husband's parenting style, unless it is abusive or objectively (meaning that any reasonable person would agree) neglectful for your child. Just as your points are valid, he has valid points as well.
Also, do not discount his mother. Even if you don't like her, or doubt her ability to care for your child, remember that she RAISED the man who you chose to marry. There is value in that, unless he is a horrible man, and you married due to self confidence issues within yourself that allowed you to choose a horrible partner. It is likely, that while he has complaints about his mother, as you may have about your own (even if you have to dig), that he sees her as a very competent caretaker for his daughter. He is likely hurt by your insinuation that she would not make a responsible sitter...or that she should not share this burden of caretaking with your own mother, during the time you two have to spend away from your child.
That said, many women would feel very grateful, to not have to hire a sitter, and to have two so willing grandparents to pitch in and help out in this situation while you two set off on your journey together as parents...which can be quite costly for parents who do not have this luxury.
Maybe you just need to change the way you are looking at this...to see that this is not such a bad thing. You guys, including your daughter who I've little doubt everyone just ADORES, are very, very lucky people.
Best wishes to all of you.
From the sounds of it, your husband could have come and asked almost the exact same question: "How can I make my wife understand that I only want to leave the baby at one place rather than going back and forth...and I want that person to be my mom." Your husband is right...it IS his baby, too.
So, what you two need to decide "together" is not what either of you want...but what is best for the baby. I think many would agree that a more stable environment would be better...that regardless of where the baby stays, that she not move around more than necessary, and one caregiver would be ideal. Others though, would agree that it is better to have the lil' one get used to more than one caregiver, in case one cannot be present at all times, and so that she is more used to spending time with other people as well.
You two need to discuss whether BOTH households, your mother and his, are clean and stable. You are BOTH going to have to put aside some piece of how you'd like the lil' one to be raised...because you will both have different ideals about that. You, most obviously trust your mother the most to make the best decisions...UNDERSTAND that he likely trusts HIS mom the most to make those decisions.
You two grew up differently, and you parent differently. This is GOOD for your baby. There's not a "random" reason that people say it is best to have both parents present in a child's life. It's not about having two people present...it is about the fact that mothers and fathers have different parenthood styles, and that both are desired when it comes to raising a child. Do not discount your husband's parenting style, unless it is abusive or objectively (meaning that any reasonable person would agree) neglectful for your child. Just as your points are valid, he has valid points as well.
Also, do not discount his mother. Even if you don't like her, or doubt her ability to care for your child, remember that she RAISED the man who you chose to marry. There is value in that, unless he is a horrible man, and you married due to self confidence issues within yourself that allowed you to choose a horrible partner. It is likely, that while he has complaints about his mother, as you may have about your own (even if you have to dig), that he sees her as a very competent caretaker for his daughter. He is likely hurt by your insinuation that she would not make a responsible sitter...or that she should not share this burden of caretaking with your own mother, during the time you two have to spend away from your child.
That said, many women would feel very grateful, to not have to hire a sitter, and to have two so willing grandparents to pitch in and help out in this situation while you two set off on your journey together as parents...which can be quite costly for parents who do not have this luxury.
Maybe you just need to change the way you are looking at this...to see that this is not such a bad thing. You guys, including your daughter who I've little doubt everyone just ADORES, are very, very lucky people.
Best wishes to all of you.
Which way would USA go if B. H. Obama were voted in again?
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I am another Ohioan voting for Mitt!
The case against Obama -
Work defines us as Americans; it gives us a sense of pride, accomplishment, identity, companionship, and most of all, self-esteem! Wherever people gather, work and career are topic one. We have organizations, conferences and trade shows promoting our professions. It is who we are as productive human beings, working toward a lifestyle unique to Americans; "the American dream," envied throughout the world and millions have given up everything and sacrificed their lives to come in search of it. I grew up believing I could be anything I was willing to work hard enough to achieve, and achieve I did. I built a company from the ground up and when I sold it we were shipping product to 40 countries around the world. Even at that time there were people who called me "lucky" and discounted the 80 hours a week I worked to get "lucky." I built it, as did many of my business associates. This was at a time when President Barack Obama was still smoking pot at Harvard and deep in his dreams.
Obama's campaign speeches resonate of the same hate for the rich as those of Juan Peron in Argentina in the mid-'30s and -'40s. One hundred years ago, Argentina was the world's richest country. In the 20th century, with socialists like Peron, it slid into economic decline. In 2001, Argentina's economy collapsed under heavy debt and it is still trying to recover today. I mention this because Obama is leading us down a similar path. Argentina's adoption of a permanent economic stimulus in lieu of making painful policy decisions has led to a state of shared misery. We've gone in the same direction, which is why a real middle class with savings is being replaced by one financed by chronic indebtedness.
Our problem is not that the rich are not paying enough in taxes; the problem is our government is spending too much and 50 percent of us are not paying any taxes, so who is not paying their fair share? Government figures show that approximately 100 million Americans are receiving some form of government assistance.
Unfortunately "the dream" has vanished as our president demonizes success as if those who often toiled relentlessly in the pursuit somehow diminished those who never did or are still trying.
The Democratic Party is no longer the working man's party; it is the party of atheists, homosexuals, abortionists, anti-constitutionalists and those looking for a government handout.
When our country elected Barack Obama, we expected him to praise hard work and those who achieved the American dream, holding them up as examples to strive for. Instead he mocks entrepreneurs and boasts as if he himself was responsible for their success.
I am truly disappointed, Mr. President! You boast of killing Osama bin Laden on your watch. This however does not put a roof over my head and food on my table. The American dream is now a daily struggle for many Americans to survive, while you and your family travel the world in luxury on our tax dollars. I pray that on Jan. 20, 2013, you join the other 24 million Americans looking for work.
I am another Ohioan voting for Mitt!
The case against Obama -
Work defines us as Americans; it gives us a sense of pride, accomplishment, identity, companionship, and most of all, self-esteem! Wherever people gather, work and career are topic one. We have organizations, conferences and trade shows promoting our professions. It is who we are as productive human beings, working toward a lifestyle unique to Americans; "the American dream," envied throughout the world and millions have given up everything and sacrificed their lives to come in search of it. I grew up believing I could be anything I was willing to work hard enough to achieve, and achieve I did. I built a company from the ground up and when I sold it we were shipping product to 40 countries around the world. Even at that time there were people who called me "lucky" and discounted the 80 hours a week I worked to get "lucky." I built it, as did many of my business associates. This was at a time when President Barack Obama was still smoking pot at Harvard and deep in his dreams.
Obama's campaign speeches resonate of the same hate for the rich as those of Juan Peron in Argentina in the mid-'30s and -'40s. One hundred years ago, Argentina was the world's richest country. In the 20th century, with socialists like Peron, it slid into economic decline. In 2001, Argentina's economy collapsed under heavy debt and it is still trying to recover today. I mention this because Obama is leading us down a similar path. Argentina's adoption of a permanent economic stimulus in lieu of making painful policy decisions has led to a state of shared misery. We've gone in the same direction, which is why a real middle class with savings is being replaced by one financed by chronic indebtedness.
Our problem is not that the rich are not paying enough in taxes; the problem is our government is spending too much and 50 percent of us are not paying any taxes, so who is not paying their fair share? Government figures show that approximately 100 million Americans are receiving some form of government assistance.
Unfortunately "the dream" has vanished as our president demonizes success as if those who often toiled relentlessly in the pursuit somehow diminished those who never did or are still trying.
The Democratic Party is no longer the working man's party; it is the party of atheists, homosexuals, abortionists, anti-constitutionalists and those looking for a government handout.
When our country elected Barack Obama, we expected him to praise hard work and those who achieved the American dream, holding them up as examples to strive for. Instead he mocks entrepreneurs and boasts as if he himself was responsible for their success.
I am truly disappointed, Mr. President! You boast of killing Osama bin Laden on your watch. This however does not put a roof over my head and food on my table. The American dream is now a daily struggle for many Americans to survive, while you and your family travel the world in luxury on our tax dollars. I pray that on Jan. 20, 2013, you join the other 24 million Americans looking for work.
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Title Post: My husband and I disagree on who to watch our baby...help!?
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Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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