How to keep a puppy out of a pool?

The Legend

We have recently bought a 10 week old sheltie who in an unfortunate accident, when my brother was home alone and let him out, he feel in and drowned in our pool....so after a few months of contemplating of buying a new family puppy we have finally bought a 8 week old sheltie who is going to arrive in the next few weeks. our pool is surrounded by cement in our fenced in backyard. to prevent another accident like what happend how could we find a way to teach him not to go near the pool?

we have talked to everyone in the family about watching the dog while he is outside but we want him to be an indoor outdoor dog who we dont have to worry about falling in a pool

Answer
That's a tough question. I worry about that with my dogs, but fortunately our yard is big enough that the pool is fenced separately from the yard, so I can let the dogs out in the yard, but they can't get to the pool. I think if I didn't have that luxury, I would buy one of the specially built pet ramps that you can put into a pool.

I just did a search for "pet pool ramp" and the brand name is Skamper-Ramp. Shop carefully!! The first site I looked at sold it for $127+ S&H. The second one was $98 fpr the same item. This price was for the Super ramp for larger dogs. If your dog won't top 45 lbs, the smaller ramp was only $39.

Step children making me crazy what should I do?

ummmgeee20

Step daughter is 23 with a kid. She graduated college 18 mos ago. She had a baby, has never worked a day in her life. My husband has been paying for everything. He is now regretting it. It is debilitating her. She lives with the belief that she does not have to work and she can use anyone anyway she wants. My husband is likely going to be laid off. It dawned on me today that he basically treated her like his wife (without the spousal duties). He has 3 kids. He bought her a brand new car, a 1000 dollar great dane, designer everything, a condo, top notch furniture. all she has to do is well - nothing. He pays Cobra Insurance for her because she is a grown up and the insurance lapsed.

She has been fighting custody over the baby with the father, but really all they (the father of the baby) want is standard visitation. She lives in another state and we have asked her to come home but she won't because of one reason or another (including the father of the baby won't allow it). We told her she could come live here, but who would want to leave a spacious condo with cherry hardwood floors to live in a crowded house, right? We offered that we could watch the baby while she works if she moves down here. She said no, she was going to go to graduate school.

She wants the father of the baby not to have any rights whatsoever, so she wants about $10,000 to pay for a lawyer. My husband said he is no longer going to pay her way and that he agrees that he has been allowing her to live in a fantasy world and he wants to stop doing this.

She was just hired for a job for $15 an hour and full benefits, he would have been willing to continue making house payments to help her out until she could get on her feet, but she turned down the job because she felt that daycare would be traumatic on the 10 month old baby. Then she called back and said she just bought a GPS navigation system for 200 bucks and could dad please put money in her account! I was floored. I have been in the situation of having a child alone and I never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have bought a "luxury" item, especially when it was not needed.

I am also worried because she is so set on being able to give her infant daughter psychotic meds because she thinks that the child may need it in the future and does not want the father of this infant to have any say so. I just have this feeling like my husband is going behind my back and going to give her money the minute she starts crying. She refuses to accept any responsibility. She won't get a job. She makes excuses, she is manipulative and she knows exactly what to say to get money from her dad. He doesn't have a backbone where she's concerned. When he tells her to do something, he says it in a manner that sounds more like he is afraid to get through to her she cannot carry on like this. He is afraid of losing her.

She honestly believes that the salary my husband makes is her salary. She acts as though she has the same rights as a spouse. My husband and I have talked but I am having serious doubts that he will follow through.

She calls him an a-hole and then turns around and talks about him dying and tells him that since he married me, if affects her inheritance. They sat at Thanksgiving Dinner and told their dad that he needed to go die basically. But he does not hear what his kids tell him or basically takes it as a joke. My kids have never told me to go die (maybe go to hell, but not die). Then she started in that the dishes that were given to him in his first wife's marriage (she deceased) and that she wants them and is entitled to them. He bought many of the pieces to make it a complete set. We would likely have given them to her later, but she feels some direct and immediate entitlement to them.

So today I heard her talking about my five year and making accusations that were not true and I just yelled at my husband who was ever so nicely telling her she was not being appropriate, I told her to take care of herself and her child and quit manipulating her father. He got mad at me because she hung up on him. I told him I did not care to hear anymore because all she does is talk. I am thinking I should get a job albeit it would be considerably less than what he could make, but I may end up having to leave because I am really having a hard time thinking I could live with this. I had not realized he is basically married to this child, who thinks she has entitlement.

I have been through a lot of sad times, I have been through rough times. My parents were well off and did not offer me a "bail out" I went through college nursing a child and working. I did not get ammenities like a PC to type my papers I had to drive over an hour to get to a computer and usually had to stay up 3-4 days at a time during finals weeks. I don't desire more money or "things" for myself. I can take care of myself. It's the attitude of this girl and the way she treats her father that makes me infu

Answer
You are frustrated, yes it does sound crazy. Your feelings are justified. It doesn't affect her inheritance, it affects her behavior. She is being unreasonable and is manipulating and controlling.

She is entitled to a spanking. He needs to grow up and act like a husband and a father. If you leave will his life be better?
How?
Will he be manipulated even more by this self centered child?

You are reasonable in your claims and explanations of these issues.
The trick I believe, is to make your husband see how he is being controlled through guilt, or is he living his old marriage through his daughter as you suggest?

She needs some tough love. She needs to learn some lessons about life. You are correct on what she needs. Again how do you convince your husband to see and then take action on correcting these issues. What a hard road to hoe.

The only thing I can suggest... Both of you sit down in front of each other holding hands. Tell him 5 things that you appreciate about him. Then give him one concern.
After this tell him your dreams and desires in life.
He can't speak until your done.
Then it is his turn to do the same.

What this will accomplish is bringing you both closer in word and deed.
He will start seeing you as his companion and confidante. He will stop viewing you as interfering.
He will relate to you more and will listen to your guidance with conviction. He will start to appreate your contributions to the marriage and to this issue.

Good luck

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